This Bad Boy
by MidnightHeir
Summary: Sword of Tengu, a powerful weapon? Not compared to this bad boy ….


**Disclaimer –** Don't own em, never will. Don't own Farscape either, but boy do I miss it. Also – FLUFF fic alert, whilst folks will be in character don't expect this to make a whole lot of sense.

**A.N:** Pac. Whilst watching the Peacekeeper Wars and chatting the bunny was born, and then rapidly encouraged to be written.

* * *

**_This Bad Boy …_**

It fell to earth in a blaze of bright lights and glory. Streaking across the sky the object was protected by little more than sturdy leather that burnt up on re-entry. As it moved onwards, hurtling towards Central Park no less, it left a trail of the brightest blue. Many, many children wished upon a star that night. Those that found said star wished they had made a wish too, they wished that their brother had never found it and brought it home…

It was a broad sword that despite its density was astoundingly easy to hold and wield. When out running Leonardo had been drawn to the impact zone by the scent of scorched earth and the attractive glare of something shiny. Working it free from the ground he had tentatively studied the hilt-less sword with its impressive twin blades that ran smoothly down to the refined tip. On the hilt was decoration neatly carved in by a race that must be as old as the stars themselves. And the pommel … ooo the shiny, shiny pommel. The weapon wasn't beautiful it was amazing.

Surprisingly cool to the touch, Leonardo collected his prize and took it home.

* * *

"And you say it fell from the sky?" 

"Yes Sensei."

"Interesting"

Teacher and student poured over the item, despite its bulk and build it was astoundingly light and after a moments pause the old rat picked it up and gave it an experimental swing.

SWOOSH

It sliced through the _air_ perfectly, though it did have one troubling flaw. It could not slice material, of any nature easily. Clearly it was in need of a 'tune up', but like any new toy it was also in need of careful study. Passing the ancient weapon to his son with a smile Splinter made one soft statement, "I think sharpening it would be wise. But allow Donatello an opportunity to study it also."

"Yes Sensei."

* * *

Honestly, when he had left the room Leonardo had had the best of intentions. He had meticulously sharpened the blade applying no more than the barest of pressure to the outer and inner edges. Placing it down upon an adjustable stand it had looked so forlorn, not to mention it had practically begged him to pick it up and give it the same loving swing that his Father had. Two hands nervously wrapped around the wide hilt before he hefted it smoothly out of its temporary resting place. 

SHWING

It hummed in the air as it arced over head. Dropping to one knee the blade sang with grace one more time before making a rather ominous …

GRACKT

The hilt came away in his hand and Leo's jaw dropped. No, no no no no …. He couldn't be doing this. He couldn't break this. Not right now, not like this. But that wasn't the end of the transformation of his new found toy. The blade separated before his eyes breaking cleanly down the middle to reveal a two pronged weapon complete with space in the middle.

"Sensei!"

The final straw came with the low hum … it made the broken hilt vibrate ever so slightly before a glowing blue started to bud and expand.

"SENSEI!"

Instinctively; specifically much like any child when they broke something Leonardo threw the strange weapon from him. It richocheted off the floor before skidding twice and coming to a stop. Shining with blue energy the turtle nervously took a step towards the item. And then …

SHLONG

It shot at him. _Shot_ at him. The turtle had barely taken cover before the alien artifact started to unleash bolt after bolt of blue energy that put holes in the sofa, the ceiling, in one particularly impressive move it managed to bounce a single bolt off the entertainment system, the wall, a support, Raph's punch bag and finally came flying in directly towards the crouched child's rear end. With a yelp Leonardo scrambled his way into his sensei's quarters where mystified rat and youth cowered waiting for the onslaught to end.

Truly Shredder had been intelligent this time. In a way that none would have guessed.

* * *

Don was the next to suffer at the blade of the cunning Shredder. Returning from a scavenger hunt the boy in purple was faced with a consistent stream of blue that leaked from the end of shiny metal object. An inanimate object that thanks to opposite reactions had managed to get itself a bit of an angle that pointed it at torso region. With a pffft sound it managed to get a direct stream to sever Don's beloved bag of junk, spilling the contents over the floor. Tipping up his workstation the scientist took cover and rode out the attack with his arms over his head and a string of half baked curses exchanged between himself and his brother who was still cowering in the other room. 

A warning made its way to Raphael who decided that the best way to handle this trap was to approach from the rear with Casey. Needless to say the clever instrument of destruction had prepared for this outcome, and with another scathingly powerful blast, much like the tantrum a three year old throws, managed to turn itself around with a couple of good blasts that couldn't penetrate rock …. And thus, when the doors parted Raph and Case were confronted with the parted, sharpened end of a weapon of mass destruction. It buckled under its own power before shooting the elevator up like swiss cheese. Our two heroes did escape, but only because the recall button was faster that the clever device that possessed no intelligence whatsoever.

And so it was down to Mikey, the only turtle not to be accosted by the weapon due to his lack of presence. Michelangelo came home in flush, he was late to get the dinner in. By the time he reached the lair the place looked like a bomb had gone off within it. Lying in the middle was a shiny, double bladed weapon that looked all pooped out. It twitched like an animal in death throws and that got a curious Mike to meander on over.

"Mike!"

"GET BACK!"

Don from behind a table, Leo from his Father's quarters.

"Geez …" reaching down the blade jerked almost in complaint. "Guys." Tentatively he scooped it up, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world slid the hilt back up, solving the problem. "Problem over."

Two turtles, and one rat appeared nervously from within their safety holes.

"How did you do that my Son?" Splinter asked out of necessity.

Holding the weapon cheerily in his hands Mikey began to expound his simply brilliant plan, "Don't you guys watch Farscape?!" he began excitedly, "This bad boy here reminds me of the Luxan Qadar blade, a sword and a gun. It's really easy to work …" hefting it to his shoulder he began to prep the weapon once again. "See, like that …" holding the altered weapon an ominous hiss began to build, causing all to look at it in fear.

"MIKEY!" Don bellowed hitting the floor and pressing his hands over his head, "You idiot!"

As the weapon started its second cunning round of mass destruction and all scattered to take cover until it ran low on charge once again an excited voice reached over the noise, "It's real!" the orange clad ninja expounded with a fan like squeal of delight. "The Farscape world is real!" A blast brought down a huge lump of ceiling, "How cool is that?!"

_-Complete-_

So I don't try humour much, honestly should I try again?


End file.
